This chat is around answering this question; Is the self static? It is inspired by a Scottish Mental Survey, started in 1947 and ended in 2012. It is a 63 year study. that concluded Results suggest that lifelong stability of personality is generally quite low, but that some aspects of personality in older age may relate to personality in childhood. You can return to the details of this study here: Personality Stability From Age 14 to Age 77 Years
But, what is the self in the first place?
We had drawn an initial conclusion that sets the foundation for exploring the self in a previous chat (You can read it here: What is behind the scene in ourselves!! )
In that chat we came to know that we have in our being natural software programs that evolve and update like those of the computers or machines but, in the case of the self this happens naturally through interaction to the surrounding environment.
Actually the “I” in “I am” is a multilevel energy field or a group of energy fields working together to draw the complete image of the self. This image varies based on many factors.
How vibrant and variant is the self image?
The person who sees us,
Your childs sees you differently from how you boss sees you. Surely this is different from how your parents sees you or your lover sees you. Why? Because they see one aspect of you that is related to them.
So your child might see you as his or her archetype. They might see you doing heroic things for them. On the other hand your boss might see incapable image of you specially if you are in the wrong job or under the wrong boss.
How we see ourselves?
Many fellow humans lead a dual life. they pretend certain traits that withdraws the social approval or high ranking of their society. While when they are on their own and away from the society, they release the other I within them. This other I is how we really sees ourselves. Regardless of this hidden self is full of envy or feeling clueless or hopeless, It is not a permanent image or a state. It is an idea that we had bought in to and we can change it freely at anytime. Wait to see how!!
That’s clear. You are totally different in a romantic scene with your loved one to whom you are when you are praising your mother-in-low cooking over family dinner. It also differs when you are stopped by a policeman or when you are stopped by a beggar or mugger.s
The point on the life timeline we live now
A simple example that reflect this is when you compare your childhood when you were provided for and when you are responsible for a family to provide for or even when you live alone and you need to provide for yourself
The internal or external view.
Now we are going a step deeper in the vast ocean of our self or selves. When we believe that we are all one but with different aspects of our self , at this moment, when we deal with another human we can feel and therefore see his internal self that is really governing his reactions. We reach this point only when we have a believe of the 2 concepts. (1) We are all one i.e. we see we all have an inner self and an outer statue. (2) We believe that our external image is not what we really are and it is a reflection of many programs running together.
Which part of the self is dominating in this moment.
That will be discussed in the coming section of the chat below
Which part of the self is dominating at this moment.?
That’s the second step down in the deep vast ocean of the self. There are many energetic bodies that live within us. The names and definitions vary but each one is having a discrete core function. The borders of all energy bodies overlap that you sometimes get confused about who was in charge of this recommendation of action or reaction.
The ego, the upper mind, the conscious mind, the unconscious mind, the intellect energetic body and the emotions energetic body are all with us. Each one is playing a vital role for our existence
Each of them evolve and change as we proceed on our life timeline. This evolution or change is a result of some internal and external factors. Like a software program or app, you receive an update that you may like or dislike because either it is malfunctioning due to a bug or propelling you out of the comfort zone that you are used to for years.
Our Self Programs
This software update was a result of the developers and the parent company new intentions and targets. Those are the Internal motivation. While the external motivations come from the customer comments, reviews, requests or complains. Also it is affected by the development of this niche and technology and the competitors performance.
That’s exactly hoe inner components of the self develop. We have certain set of believes that grow or change over time. Our interpretation of the situations we are facing and actions or the reactions of the society to our performance; The emerging new ways of living around us; The directions of the soul; The growing demand for a certain physical thing or emotional feeling. All these along time write the new code lines within us that governs the way we live and the image our “I” has.
How to influence the change of our self image?
First we need to understand how our self image is created. Then we can understand how to influence it. Sometimes it is difficult to catch how we were programmed and how are programs upgrades and updates with time when we relate to our self image. We can come closer to the idea by exploring how our believes about certain things in our life changed with time.
Remember the changes that happened to our perceptions about any subject you select. The below subjects can be good examples to start:
- Your perception about your parents
- The knowledge you have about love affairs
- Your understanding of social media and its effect on you life whether positive or negative.
Let we take the parents as an example. At one step in your life they were pure love and mercy. Then you started to watch some images of parenting on the media; Some talks with class friends or neighbors about the parents; Your parents advice and punishments started to find some resistance inside you.
Maybe you had discussed it with a friend, read about it on social media, compared it to the others’ stories. It could be that you had seen some other parents with their children. As a result of all this you reached a conclusion after some mental analysis and emotional experiences. Your conclusion might be that you had bad parents and any thing you are not performing good in, they held the responsibility.
Relate this example to your self
This change of perception happened in your life through your own interpretation of the life situations around this topic. It was affected by the parents’ performance, the stories in your environment and your need for their support or the absence of this need. That’s not a good or bad conclusion deduction. It is just stating the factors that caused this conclusion.
Now simply relate this analysis we had done to the parents to the image you had about yourself. Where do you see yourself competent? What do you accept and refuse about yourself?
How these ideas were imprinted inside you? Maybe You compared your body to an image on the Instagram. Or, you felt incompatible when a teacher compared you with the student how is the top of the class. Your teachers comments, your parents behavior, the ads and movies heroes and how they are compared to you or your life. All these are stimuli that trigger emotions or thought patterns. They end up as new lines in the program of the ego or the mind.
Our apparent image is built up through the interactions of all the energy bodies within us. Why each of these energy bodies have this reaction or behavior? Each reaction is a small program written by the interpretation of this energy body to the life situations in the environment around us.
If you controlled your interpretation of those stimuli and, your interaction to them, then you are in control of your software. How to control those interactions? Details will be in a coming chat.